


Tea, Pie and Roman Remains (the Squint Squad)

by koalathebear



Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: Ensemble Cast, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-28 16:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/309583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koalathebear/pseuds/koalathebear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>elspethsheir recently posted about a 1,500-year-old unsolved murder mystery. When I saw the words: "a burnt body under the collapsed remains of a corn-dryer oven. Both the jumbled adult skeleton and the oven, which was used to dry crops at a farm on the outskirts of the parish, are thought to date back at least to the time of the late Roman occupation, I immediately thought Bones!</p><p>I wrote: "Eee! Bones! Need to send in Brennan and the Squints!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tea, Pie and Roman Remains (the Squint Squad)

"Bones - what is going on?" Booth demanded as he strode up onto the platform, swiping his card with the swift motion that had become an automatic reflex. "You might at least answer your phone once in a while?"

Angela looked amused and briefed him when everyone else appeared to be too preoccupied to do so. "We've been helping out with the Sedgeford Historical and Archaeological Research Project that's been excavating artefacts in a village in Norfolk."

"What have they found? Buried treasure?" Booth asked, starting to look slightly interested.

Hodgins lifted his head. "Actually, in 2003 they unearthed an Iron Age hoard of gold coins."

"Ah that good old Iron Age, those were the days," Booth joked and everyone gave him a baleful stare.

"They also found the end of a golden torc," Zach informed him.

"That's no golden torc," Booth said pointing to the charred remains of a burnt body that lay neatly on the examination table beneath bright lights being scrutinised with intense fascination by Brennan and her team.

"Very observant, Agent Booth," Hodgins told him. "Last year, they found a burnt body under the collapsed remains of an oven. They've sent it to us to see if we can figure out age and sex of the body as well as how long it's been there."

"Now you're talkin'," Booth said, approaching the table and peering down at the body. He reached out his hand and swore when Brennan slapped it away without even glancing at him.

"It was found next to burnt chalk and clay which we're told was probably a corn-drying oven," Hodgins told him. "Corn-dryers were a pretty high-tech system of of ovens, flues and rake-out pits designed to dry grain kept in large barns."

"Both the adult skeleton and the oven are thought to date back at least to the time of the late Roman occupation." Zach told him helpfully. "I've radiocarbon dated the bones and they appear to be approximately 1,500 years old."

"So a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, some Italian farmer guy drank too much ale while he was drying his crops, fell over next to his oven, banged his head and killed himself," Booth said with a dismissive shrug.

Brennan gave him a very puzzled look. "That's not even close, Booth," she told him earnestly and Booth rolled his eyes in resignation. "Evidence at the site indicates that the body was not there by accident but that it had been concealed." Brennan indicated one blackened fragment. "This body is semi-articulated which suggests that it was inserted into the oven and burnt _in situ_. The archaeologists have been unable to find any trace of tibiae or fibulae yet so it may be that the knees were bent with the lower legs below."

Angela was smiling at the expression on Booth's face. "The skeletal remains are burnt to varying degrees but have not been cremated in the normal sense of the word. We can tell that the bones are certainly from an adult and the prominent nuchal crest suggests we are dealing with a male individual but we have not yet drawn any definitive conclusions. The skeleton is was partially sealed by collapse from the structure, suggesting that the burning of the body was the last time the oven was used. The fact that the bones were not removed implies that the body was not treated with respect. When the plant fell out of use, the roof of the oven collapsed and the site was covered over, leaving the crime undetected for more than 1,500 years."

"In other words, the body appears to have been pushed into the oven and then set alight," Zach told him.

"Thank you for the translation, Dr Addy," Booth said impatiently. "So what you're telling me Bones, is that you suspect foul play."

Brennan stared down at the body with an unreadable expression on her face. "Discoveries like this are rare but not completely unknown. Bodies were sometimes dropped down wells, hidden in central-heating ducts, or dumped in roadside ditches..... this represents a breakdown of the old Roman order." Brennan told him.

Angela looked pensive. "I don't really have enough to work with, but I did a rough sketch," she said, showing everyone a sketch of a man in his late thirties with large serious eyes and a grim face. "I can't even even begin to imagine who he might have been. A tax collector? The landlord's bailiff - a hate figure of the old regime."

"It might have just been a casual crime or an old score settled in a world where the chances of getting caught were far less," Hodgins mused. "This Roman murder victim guy was never found at the time, his murderer was never brought to justice." He stared down at the body. "It sucks to be this guy."

"Never say never. We've got Bones to shed light on what happened and the sonofabitch who did this," Booth said emphatically and everyone stared at him.

"Agent Booth, it is not illogical to assume that if these bones are 1,500 years old, the perpetrator himself - or herself - is long dead and buried." Zach pointed out.

"Booth, we can't always arrest the bad guys," Angela said with a great deal of sympathy in her eyes.

"Bones, what are you doing?" Booth demanded, staring at Brennan who had pulled out her cell phone and was talking into it with great earnestness. "You had your phone with you the whole time and you didn't take my calls?"

Brennan looked up. "Just calling your psychiatrist - he says you can head over right now..... he's got pie and tea waiting"

"Bones, will you quit doing that already? I am not angry," Booth told her firmly.

"Pie and tea does sound very nice though," Zach remarked wistfully and Hodgins nodded in agreement after considering the issue for a moment.

"Fine, ask him if he delivers and tell him to bring it over here," Booth said, his lips twitching in amusement.

Brennan smiled back at her partner but said nothing.

Angela reached out and took the phone from her friend. "Dr Wyatt? Feel like coming over and helping us solve a 1,500 year old murder mystery?"

 **End**


End file.
